A Replacement to Writing? 2005/2006

Angry again today

I was angry again today. So very angry that I cursed the computer meant for releasing print jobs at AS7 and mumbled to myself while attempting to print the cursed JS project. I had forgotten why I was so angry after I finally (and I mean finally) handed up the project, by myself. I just recount the day ok. So I think it is going to be a bit boring, but I'll start cursing and bitching somewhere in the entry so you can go look out for those bits.

JS lecture at 12pm. I was supposed to leave the house at 10.30am in order to get there in plenty of time to spare. By the way, last night.. oh, it should be the night before this already, so on the night of Wednesday 9th nov. 2005, I was busy doing the bibliography of both JS and my 5,000-word physics term paper until 2am when I decided that I was too tired and would take a 5-min break. I ended up sleeping until 6.30am on thursday morning, with the computer running through the 4 hours and the lights fully switched on. I must stop giving in to temptations and make good decision. A good decision now would mean to stop blogging and go study, but well, if I don't get it out I'll go break something else later.

So anyway, I woke up at 6.30am, looked at the sky, saw light and panicked. Why is it light when it is supposed to be 3am (in my sub-consciousness it was 3am)? Jumped up, knew I had overslept, brushed my teeth belatedly, washed my face and then sat in front of the computer again to finish the biblio. I had already about finished the biblio of JS on wed night so I sent a copy to both laurence (the ass) and benedick with a request for Laurence to do the footnotes because I had realized that I had no idea how to do footnoting. I don't even know the purpose of it. My physics term paper no footnoting! Shit lor, don't know how. Please don't fail me. puhleeease...

He replied quite late, so I asked Jacqueline to do the footnoting instead. It was about 10am already, so I quickly sent the document to her email, and I got the impression that she would be doing it in school. When I told Laurence that it's ok, I told Jac to do the footnoting, he said "I didn't say I don't want to do... when did you ask jac?" through sms. I admit it's my fault lah, I really did everything too late, fell asleep last night, horrible. And I was rather cold towards him. He should have gotten my point today.
To cut it short, 4 out of 5 of us met at the back of the lect hall and did our footnoting there and then. Oh, I had previously found out that we were supposed to hand it in during our lecture. Sweet. Haven't even footnoted, how to print? Don't talk about handing it up. Ended up can hand in at 5pm. Which I did.

Seriously, he's pretty useless (u know who i'm talking abt) even when he's at the final, desperate meeting today. Forget it lah. Ok, so lect ended at 1pm, with an hour to spare. Ben went for tutorial at about 1.40pm, so Jac, laurence and I went to AS7 to print the doc. And guess what? There was something wrong with our document, cannot print! Keeps showing "preparing to print background of word document..." and then hang there. Kaoz. Was damn fed-up.
Jac left soon because she had to meet someone else. So I told laurence to get another computer and try. He got the one next to me and I sent him the project. Ask him to print he talk so much. Say that don't know if must put cashcard first or not. I told him I print here everyday in a du lan tone. End up still cannot print. F*** lah. Ask the uncle there for help, he say doc problem, which was spot-on.
Then Ben called on my phone, say that the forms are with him. Prior to that laurence say that he had lost the forms. (I wanted to smack him, but I shouldn't have. People are careless sometimes.) Luckily it's with Ben. So because I was trying desperately to print my term paper and the project, I asked laurence if he could go to AS3 there to meet ben and get the form. He was like "huh...", so I stood up and said forget it, I go get. I had the same reaction as him when ben asked me to go, so I guess I can't blame him. My fault here, when ben told me to go down I was so muddle-headed from all the frustration that I didn't realize I should have just went down immediately to get the forms instead of asking ben, who had tutorial at 2pm, to come up to the com lab. Apologies to ben for that. He was the patient type though, so I was lucky.

Then laurence told me to print the appraisal form, so I mentioned that Mabel's form is with him and he say that nvm, can I just print 2 blank copies, 1 with mabel's name on top in a du lan tone also. I just nodded. F*** him lah, my money ok! Waste $, waste paper. In the end he printed Mabel's form and I printed out mine. Gave him my cashcard to pay for his printing but he don't know so I went there with him instead, but I was very pissed mainly because I have a personal grudge against him which I know is wrong but I can't help it. And the fact that the stupid project got something wrong. Kaoz. And he talk so much. Why must he talk so much?

We tried to print the proj again from laurence's com, it failed again. So we were questioning why and he keep saying, "why ah? how come like that?" something like that lah. I said don't know lehz, don't know why like that also. I noticed that Jac's name was missing her surname so I just pointed it out as a side-remark and he said, "nvm, that's a minor detail, now the important thing is that why this thing cannot print." His tone was that of an adult explaining to a kid a concept or idea, but his tone has always been like that. He always talks like that. Please note that this is a biased thing ok, you all TRY and judge as fairly as you can through all the biasness.

The anger has made me mess up the chronological happenings of the events. He also edited Mabel's form. I was angry with what he did and I showed it. (I said, "I still think..." to which he gave the standard answer, "blah blah blah" in the middle, and I continued with "nvm nvm, forget it..." then turned away.) Then I realized only a couple of hours later that he edited the section "ownself" and put it to higher marks, so I guess it is alright although I really don't like his actions. He change others' opinions. After a few failed attempts at printing, he went to ask Dr. Asato if can give softcopy while I tried to print again. He brought the forms with him.

Yes, the forms. In the end I just put all the same marks for the different categories except for 1 where I gave him 6/10 for attendance and all that. I regret already. I should have given a true account. Well, I did write at the bottom that "Laurence did not contribute much but he did find some websites which were important to our project."

No, asato said. Must have a hardcopy by 5pm today. Okay... Laurence told me over the phone to just try and print again then if cannot then... I don't remember what he said. I remember he said he doesn't know what to do either. And then he went off to study, leaving me at the computer lab, trying desperately to think of ways to print. I mummured under my breath to his leaving back, "who does he think he is?" I think the people around me, especially the nice girl next to me heard me. Like whatever. I was angry, remember. I printed my term paper then. I msg Mabel, ask if she knows what to do. Might be configuration problem, she says. Try another printer. Which means I have to walk all the way from AS7 to Central Library/AS1's campus supplies printing room which is god-damn far away. I was getting majorly pissed off again. I decided to go to the CL's instead. Met my literature classmate on the way (she's my ex-colleague at IRAS too) and I ranted to her and she accompanied me until everything was done. Thanks a lot! I cursed and talked so loudly that people were staring at me. Couldn't be bothered. Was majorly angry.

Can't print at CL also, so with Mab's advice, seeked help from the CL com guys. They were super nice! Helped me to convert word to pdf format, which wasn't successful, so they saved it to their thumb-drive (er i spelt it right hor) and printed it from their laptop. Super nice of them to help me over like 1/2 hour. Thank you! So thanks to them, I finally managed to print the project at about 3+, 4pm. And I haven't had my lunch. Gastric problems going to come again if I continue like this for a few more days. Then I binded the proj at campus supplies. Kaoz, waste so much of my money. Haiz. My allowance is gone. Heartache. Exaggeration lah, but I don't spend a lot and every cent counts. Esp when I'm not working.

So I assumed laurence has handed up the forms, but he didn't. I was halfway to AS4 to hand it in when I had to walk all the way back to the forum to get the stupid forms from him. I seriously have a personal grudge against him. Took the forms from him, changed the figures on my form to those stated above and then handed it in at 4pm, I think, to Dr. Asato. (the event of being in his office was embarrassing enough. had to borrow his table to finish my comments coz I wanted to know if we would be getting the forms back, i.e, if laurence would be reading them. I don't have backbone also.) Had lunch, went to Science to hand in my term paper at 5.10pm, met ben on the way at arts, told him what happened, was thinking about my money (I printed colour for some pages, mind you). Spent some time looking for the lecturer's office, which LY actually stumbled upon while trying to find it as well earlier in the afternoon (sorry about the call, shen chin, I was getting desperate and called every science student I knew, which happen to be only 2 and you are 1 of them. =D sorry ah), handed it up and felt so relieved. Managed to leave school by 5.30pm. An amazing feat, if you ask me. I was starting to think that I would be staying overnight in school.

I should stop thinking about my hate towards him. Yes, it has increased to hate. It will only spoil my health.

Good night! morning.. whatever.

And thanks to all for your support! =D

posted by tstar @ 12:18 AM