A Replacement to Writing? 2005/2006

Funeral - Day 3

It is now 2am and I came back at about 1.45am. I might sleep only at 4am coz this will be a super long entry but you all only need to read up to "Dear Diary" ok? The rest is purely for my info, next time when I feel bored and look through this, I like to see exactly what I did on the days itself.

Firstly, I want you all to see this. For all my bandmates, yes, that is XMS. My alma mater sent this over, but not because of me. My uncle (da bo) is an alumni there, so they sent it when they knew his (step)mother passed away. It felt good seeing my school name there.

So today more prayers by another temple. The woman singing the prayers made me laugh. I later learnt that it was taiwan hokkein and she is "singing" a really sad story of how a woman (my mama in this case) carried a child in her womb for 9 months and then gave birth, very xin ku. It is supposed to drive away the pain from my mama's body/soul or something. Because I didn't understand what she was singing, I was trying to keep from laughing. She sounded like she is at a karaoke. Her voice went all whiny at the ends and when she came to the 'amitabha' part I really had to bite my lip. Can you imagine someone singing 'amitabha' at karaoke?

I really didn't like the way this temple prayed for mama. I didn't feel the sincerity like from shuang lin shi. Maybe because I am more used to shuang lin shi. Then when the monk put necklaces around our necks and all that he sounded a bit fierce and demanding. I started missing mama today. I thought how nice it would be if she didn't have the stroke, if she was still alive and healthy. My eyes went damp, but no, I didn't cry.

I feel so touched, Daniel just asked me on MSN where the wake is being held, that he will ask the band and see if they want to come down. If you all want to come contact me ok, I send you all the address.

No cats today, only a snail inching along.

Mama really didn't look too happy today. My aunt said that it might be because some of us have been quarelling or talking bad about people. So both of us went to the coffin and told her to an xin. Aunt read a prayer, I told mama I promise I will try not to quarrel with anybody and told her to an xin.

I feel tired, don't think I have the mood to type everything down. Maybe I'll do it after the whole thing is over. Btw, I'm staying overnight tomorrow (today) night. Tuesday is the day.

I feel oddly tired. Not only that, but an odd feeling, like I'm going for a job interview tomorrow. Nervousness, anxiousness.

Perhaps I should apply for that special consideration thing for my exams. I told Junxiang that I believe in myself, no need apply. I change my mind. Right now I can't think of anything and I feel like going to play music for 1 whole day. *shrugs* don't trust my words.

posted by tstar @ 1:59 AM