Friday, November 04, 2005

messed up

i hate exams and i hate school now specifically nus i'm not using punctuation except for ' because my thoughts are all jumbled up sort them if you can i can't be bothered why the hell did i choose arts bloody hell how do i know hell is bloody anyway shit is possibly bloody so i should use bloody shit why i didn't choose science huh tell me can because i want to study astrophysics and i can't and i feel so stupid stupid as in spastic you know so what is the goddamn use in taking a stupid minor in physics if i can't study what i want and if i won't be able to cope anyway had a problem with maths ever since in primary school but i LIKE physics god i LOVE it so much and i'm intrigued with astrophysics and the god damn university won't let me study it
why
because i made a stupid choice and went to arts not that i don't like arts i still like it but i don't know why i didn't go to science
well because i don't want to spend my entire life in a laboratory
forget it i'll study astro on my own
i don't even have to follow a syllabus
blardy shit/hell

well, i can be really, really horrible and remind myself that the really smart always come to no good an end. i'm sorry sorry sorry! i didn't mean to say what i said! but look at all those accidents! they are always those god damn smart ppl from RJ, with a bright future, future doctors... sorry sorry sorry! forget i said that! i shouldn't be saying that! most of them don't die anyway. those who do are usually the poor who can't get any medication or are constantly exposed to poor hygiene. i should be happy with where i am, and i AM happy.
gosh, i'm so messed up. what is making me write and think like that?
if i were a drug addict i would be saying, "i swear, i didn't take any of that stuff, not anymore, not today. " but i'm not.
why am i even posting this?! i need to cheer up.
i hate hate hate hate hate exams. it must be the exams. yar, it is, i'm sure.

if i could, i would like a dose of her.

posted by tstar @ 11:03 PM

1 Comments:

At November 05, 2005, Blogger chillycraps said...

err... can't you take astrophysics as unrestricted module??

If you like it, you can always find out more about it without necessarily going thru it in school.. and you won't even be tested on it. Isn't it good when they don't pollute the true meaning of learning something you like??

If you want I can post some of the astrophysics notes onto my blog. (nvm, even if you don't want i will still post..) provided i can dig them out cos they are from my secondary sch era... got them when i was in astro club...

as for now, just hang loose ok?

 

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