A Replacement to Writing? 2005/2006

Xinfony III (or was it II...?)

So last night LY and I were chatting about the music our band played in concerts, and she inspired me to go listen to them again. So today while studying, I listened to Xinfony II cd. I tell you, I couldn't concentrate on my studies. After listening to Singapura Medley I wanted to cry! It was so god-damn, bloody beautiful. We could have gotten a gold with that version, but no, we had to play a silver version on that-fateful-syf-day. Actually, it doesn't seem that important then that we played a gold version after the syf day, and it doesn't seem that important now either. Who cares, as long as we played great music! Like LY said, the songs brought back a lot of memories. Sadly, some of the data in the cds seem to have eroded (or corroded) or something. I don't know what's the word for it. My radio/cd player cannot read the discs! *sad*

And the second piece we played, When the Stars began to fall, it's my favourite piece then and still is now. I played the snare for that piece! And I didn't screw up! So proud of it! It's really, really good. Hmm, but there was more clapping in "stars" than in "singapura" which is really weird since the latter is better than the 1st. Maybe Miss Tan was bowing to the audience and introducing us, that's why. Yeah, that must be it.

The 2nd part of the concert was horrible. It has always been horrible, the 2nd section. Messy and unmusical. Guess because we were tired and the lousy pieces somehow always end up in the 2nd part. Why ah? Oh yar, because we wanted the audience to come back for the 2nd portion. Right. Haiz, I miss performing as an XMSB member. Most of all I miss those times when Miss Tan force us to listen to each other and would scold us when we play wrongly. And when one of the section/person plays wrongly the whole band will look at him/her say "oi!" and then we all laugh, but the point is clear - concentrate and play properly! Oh I miss those times alright. I miss my percussion section too! All those times.. haiz. If I type it here, it will be an ultra long entry, so I won't. I talk with LY about it on 151 can talk from one interchange to the other. =D

Those were the days... I'm old! Shucks.

I really want to put up some the pieces we played here, but that audio clip html SH told me to put in looks damn funny and I don't know if he is just kidding me or something... I mean, I know I'm cute (I'm j.k!), but what has that got to do with the audio clip? Please enlighten me.

Have I ever told any of you, I once felt extremely guilty about Murni during one of the concerts? I think it was Xinfony II - we were sec. 3 then, no? Yes, we were. Or was it in Xinfony III... There was this part in a song where there is a tambourine part, I can't remember which song was it, I think it was in Xinfony III, we had given the part to somebody else to play. Before the piece, she came up to me and said, "I really want to play the tambourine part for this song, can I?" Something like that. You see, she's not very good at her rhythm and stuff although she tries very hard and she had practiced for that piece although we later on, very later on, changed the player. At that time I looked at her, thought about the concert and turned her down. I feel so guilty now. She's a really small-sized, quiet and timid girl. She had gathered up the courage to ask to be put on stage, and I blatantly turned her down because I was afraid it would ruin the concert. So stupid of me then. What is a little probable mistake in a concert already full of mistakes, compared to a large boost of encouragement to a girl like her? She later quit the band (I think) when we graduated.

If I could go back in time, I would let her play the part. I can't help feeling guilty towards her. Sometimes I think I cannot face her properly, that I don't have the right to be her senior, that she has the right to not look at me, to despise me. I know I shouldn't think this way, but sometimes I still do. If I had let her played, perhaps she would be in a different situation now. She could have come out more confident, excited, feel more passion for band and have seen what advantages a little courage could have brought her. Why did she ask me anyway?! I'm not the SL, not the ASL! If she asked somebody else, like Pearlin... oh right, I remember now, because I was the only senior backstage then since everybody else was on stage for that piece.

I guess I came out knowing a little more. I gained, but she didn't.

posted by tstar @ 8:07 PM