A Replacement to Writing? 2005/2006

Explaning myself for no particular reason

I will NOT get angry (finally) because there is no reason to. Anyway I'm not thinking properly and when I get angry when I'm not thinking properly, I'm usually the one at fault.

Actually I'm already a bit pissed. And irritated. And he's FINALLY irritated with me, which is great. GREAT. No sarcasm.

So. Should I write about it? I really don't like writing entries on this kind of things. But it'll help me think better. Alright then, before reading the following you all should read his entry here. That should give you an idea what happened, then I'll tell you what happened from my point of view.

Yes, I asked him last evening if he was free today. Last evening YZ was with me, btw. Why I asked him last evening if he was free today? I have a reason ok! A reason I will NOT tell anybody except for those who already know it and to those who already know it, DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING!! Thanks. I don't even know why in the world I came up with that very valid reason. Anyway today morning I saw his nick "headache" so quite obviously he got a headache of some sort. Once it was confirmed that the headache was physical, I knew I couldn't ask him out even if I HAD wanted to go out. Come on, who in the world asks their friends out when they are feeling ill? Even when they say they're alright, they are NOT, in my opinion anyway. So I don't care what they all say. They sick isit? Then they stay at home and rest. I don't care what programme they have on later, but I will not ask them out. It is against my conscience.

So why did I type whatever it is that I did after that when he went for lunch? Oh basically I gave him an excuse to ask me out (in my opinion) to put it simple, IN MY OPINION.
Why then? Because he said that he would probably feel better after a walk and it kind of backed my point that a person with headache should not be staring at the computer screen. Thus I got the wrong impression that we WERE going out, which led to me typing that message when he said that he's going to have his lunch. See, a case of misunderstanding, not a "guess guess game" as he said.

Seriously, I am quite irritated with myself for firstly, contradicting myself and secondly, for not noticing that he was pissed. But then I had an entirely different view as you can see, a view which is probably wrong (because somehow I'm always wrong).
Then I am irritated with him for I don't know what also. Saying irritated with him for being himself sounds weird not to mention really stupid. Anyway I really don't know him so it doesn't stand. Oh, I have found something to be irritated with! This sentence of his, " Even for mood there is a footer that says "correct as of (date)". " It's quite true, this sentence if we think properly about it, but somehow I feel that the tone is a bit sarcastic. My mood didn't change ok, it's because of him. Actually I'm just trying to find something to blame on. =D So nvm that.

I don't even know why I'm explaining myself!

Now I finally see why he is pissed and why he suddenly send that sms and that he didn't log off MSN for fun. Well, I'm a bit slow, ain't I. Yeah, sorry about it.

I'm working myself into a horrible mood, thinking about the number of unsold tickets to the percussion concert. Plus I probably cannot meet my friend tomorrow to give him the ticket because the show might end at 6. Then tomorrow have to wake up early because have practice from 9am till 1pm! Then show at Clementi at 2.30pm... Just thinking about it makes me tired.

Now I'm hungry. I'll go eat some bread.

posted by tstar @ 10:48 PM