Let's talk (1)
On topic (1) : Let's talk ambition, dreams, fear, life, love, like.
Sometime soon, I have got to write something about politics. That's beside the point.
Do you know what is my ambition? I have a very funny ambition. I want to hold a job that I love. I want to wake up every morning eager to go to work, whatever work it is. I want to be paid for my hobby.
Sometimes when I write all these down, I want to laugh and cry at the same time. Sometimes it seems so far-fetched. And yet at times, it is what keeps me going. If I don't think about what I want to do in the future, then I will just be another drop of water in the ocean. I will be pushed along in the crowd of people, doing things that others want me to do, hating the job that I hold, be at the beck and call of others. I don't want to be in this crowd.
For a person who has talent, it is so much easier for him/her to achieve what he/she wants. But I don't have the talent. In fact, I think I am considered one of those who pick up certain things very slowly, and then when I pick it up, I only know bits of it. That's why for music that some people can learn and understand the principles behind the playing after 2 - 4 years, I take 6 years to pick up. It's kind of pathetic, isn't it.
I remember when I used to take piano lessons, I am always the slowest to learn in class. My teacher used to
pick on me, well , at least that's what I remembered. She used to hit my back. That was in grade 1 I think. When I moved on to grade 2 or 3, another teacher would slap my hand when I played wrongly. In grade 3, another piano teacher (he is by far the best teacher I had) almost fell asleep in the time it took me to figure out and play a piece of music. By the time I finished my grade 1 and 2, I had developed a fear of piano lessons. When I play, it is like a person stuttering. I want to get the notes out, my brain is telling my fingers the rhythm and telling it to move but I just can't get my fingers to move. Now that I think of it, I have coordination problems. I stopped when I passed grade 3.
Ok, that's it, it's too depressing. Now I can't write anything else tonight. I'll put it down another time.
Let's talk (2)
1)Let's talk ambition, dreams, fear, life, love, like.
2)Let's talk about my new phone, nokia 7260.
On topic (2) :
I love my new phone. I can't really believe I have it in my hands. After trading-in my nokia 8260 for $60, I bought my present phone for only $78 when the price is $138. That's really cheap. I like the design of the phone, and the fact that I can actually take photos with it. I am obsessed with the taking photos part. It's kind of amazing, like you can take a little bit of a moment with you wherever you go, in your phone.
Sadly, my brother has a 3G phone, Motorola's v970. It is really nice. I like the keypad and the structure of the phone and the video telephony ability and the fact that it costs close to $500. But we did not pay for it. It came free when we signed up for singnet broadband. I was nice enough to suggest that it be given to my little brother because he did not have any phone in the first place. Now I'm thinking that such a high-tech phone should be given to someone else who knows how to use the functions to its full extent.
Like me.
*Grins* I'm greedy, but I'm not evil. That motorola phone is a bit heavy and I'm too used to nokia phones to make an adjustment that quickly. Besides, I really like my nokia 7260 now. I kind of fell in love with the design when I first saw it on TV.
So I am one happy person where phones are concerned.
"Addition"
(Disclaimer: This entry is based solely on the writer's thoughts, reflections and frustrations and has no intention of defaming any parties mentioned in this entry, directly or indirectly.)
I forgot to add something. I am so so so so so so so so against this sentence. Read my "Education - freedom" entry.
"You didn't study up to university just to become a housewife and hold a part-time job."
Sorry, but I just thought that education was supposed to give us freedom. If I want to be a housewife and hold a part-time job I suppose it is against the law? Absurdity. Fine! If you are so against it, then give me some time and when I start work I will pay society back the money which funded my education. And THEN I will go back to being a housewife and hold a part-time job.
I don't know if I will end up being housewife and hold a part-time job, but then I just feel so cheated that the society and the government did not tell us this part of our unspoken agreement when I first stepped onto the path of education.
That's all. It isn't a very big deal to a lot of people, but it is to me.
I always enjoyed education even though I grumbled a lot about it. I liked learning about new things. I thought education was about that ; enjoying what you are learning. I thought it was the passing down of knowledge from one generation to next.
I thought wrong.
Oh yar, I am supposed to pay back society, so I guess I will work for a few years to pay back whatever it is I owe the economy and THEN quit and do my thing.
Ah, I feel better now after letting it out, but I'm still irritated by this fact.
Please remember my very short disclaimer before you decide to complain or take a lawsuit against me.
Concert(s)
Hi. (I like the full-stop.)
AJCSB's concert is on 22nd may, this sunday, to be specific, at 7.30pm. Hmm, how come I don't feel excited? Ah well, this is not my band anymore, if you get what I mean. People grow old, times change.
XMSB's concert somwhere in July or August, I don't know which month. I wonder if they will let us play a percussion quartet or ensemble... Should go and ask them.
If only I get paid for playing music and doing what I do now, I would be rich. My skills, in percussion I mean, have improved I think. And yet in some ways it is now worse. And then in others, it is still the same.
Better:I mean like I can do double sticking better now, (I have more protruding veins on my hands now because of the practicing), I can do both multiple and double-stroke rolls better now, I like my "flam"s.
Worse:I haven't touched mallets or played an actual mallet piece in like... 6 months or more? Actually I think that's about it. Oh yar, my strokes are definately slower now.
Same:Sight-reading is still as bad, still not confident when playing in front of and with people, ( I don't seem to have the same problem when playing alone), and my hair always does not do what I want it to do on concert days.
Please comment. How in the world can I improve my sight-reading?
Oh, did I mention how I like full-stops?
Dr. Wee Kim Wee
Ex-president Dr. Wee Kim Wee passed away a few days ago.
Like I've said, I am an ill-read person, so I do not know about him or his past until after he passed away.
I remember when Eric pointed to a picture of the band and Dr. Wee taken a few years back at the Istana, I said I did not know who he is, and Eric said how could I not know him?
Sadly, this is so. Based on what I've heard about him in these few days, I gather he is a great man with character. Such a man will not and should not be forgotten.
AJCSB SYF (3)
Band number 16, Anderson Junior College, Silver.
Haiz, to say I'm not upset is to lie. You can tell from the way they played the pieces that it's going to be a Silver. In that space of time after they have played, how I wished that I could do a fast forward or skip a few frames and come to many moments after the announcing of the results.
Since we/they played last, they remained on stage until the results were announced. It was unnerving for them, I guess. It is most interesting that AJ got to stay on the stage.. haha... whatever.
Anyway, we could hear lots of little mistakes here and there. Most due to nerves rather than insufficient practice. I could practically
taste the nervousness, tension, anxiousness and expectation they were feeling while I was sitting in the audience.
Quite a few cried, most were upset. The gold was so close they could touch it. In fact, they did, but sadly, didn't hold on to. When the conductor gave a little pep talk later, you could see their shoulders slouching and their depressed faces. I had to grind my teeth and hold back my tears for they had worked so hard and were so disappointed.
My perc section cried too. Even Jiaxing cried. They didn't exactly look very happy.
I know they wouldn't be reading this, but in my mind I keep telling them not to be upset for too long... Because the journey to playing better music has just started. It doesn't matter if you all don't get gold this time, because there will be a next time. Because you need time to hone your skills.
Most importantly, don't be too upset, because you have enjoyed playing with your bandmates.
I think you guys did great! I applaud you for the hard work put in. I also can't help but thank all of you, for showing me once again how beautiful playing music can be, when all of you put your hearts and minds to it.
And I thank the conductors. Although I don't know all of your names, thank you all for putting such faith in them, letting them believe that they can achieve that gold and leading them up to it. Thank you for teaching them so much. It's a joy to watch my juniors play well under all your guidance.
Not to forget the teachers, thank you for always being there and encouraging them, to give them the extra boost to take them through to the next stage.
To music always.. cheers! =)
AJCSB SYF (2)
Went back again today. I feel so excited about tomorrow. Am meeting Yin Pin at 1.30pm at Singapore Conference Hall...
Damn, it feels like I'm the one taking part instead of them.
All the best! =D
I hope you do your best and enjoy playing with your section and bandmates!
AJCSB SYF (1)
I went to AJ's band prac today (may 3rd, tues). Heard the current band playing. Their SYF is this thursday and they are aiming for a gold, and if possible, a gold with honours. I listenend to them for a while and for the first time after my secondary school SYF in 2001, I had this feeling that the gold was in sight.
Actually, it wasn't the fact that there is the possibility of a gold that excites me more than the fact that somehow, they have that same kind of feeling that I once experienced in 2001 while preparing for SYF. I guess it brings back memories.
I like the new conductor. He's serious and wants to play serious music.
For someone who hasn't heard or been in touch with playing serious music for quite a while, this is quite a treat.
All in all, in my opinion, it was a day well spent. =)
