A Replacement to Writing? 2005/2006

Pictures of the experiment

I tell you, I want to smack SH already! I say the electrodes are on my stomach lah! How to take pictures? The best I can do are below:




The orange pouch. I took it upside down so that it would seem right-side up.



That's what's inside the pouch. Damn difficult to take pictures of the stuff and wires inside. Trust me, got a lot, jiu shi le.




my nice neck. that's the electrode with thick wire above and a strip of er, something around my neck. Imagine I walk around like that! So bloody obvious.



And the blue blood pressure cuff.



The palm that I am supposed to enter details about my activities into every 1/2 hour. My left arm is getting sore from the half hourly blood pressure readings... and I tell you I can memorize what the questions in the palm are already.

Still got a lot of wires, but is all from the pouch to my stomach and under my shirt, behind my neck etc etc.
Want to see the electrodes on my stomach, unless you are jiaying or yunying or a female, if not, wait till you are my boyfriend!

posted by tstar @ 11:00 PM 3 comments

Today

Dear Diary,

Today I got hooked up again. No no, not hooked up as in got hooked, but hooked up as in for experiments. This money not easy to earn sia, the stupid blood pressure cuff is rubbing my arm raw, and I have to go school tomorrow, which is Deepavali holiday, to get unhooked.
And I stink! God, I have body odour today! I realized it this year only. Didn't belive it when my mom told me like ages and ages ago. I showered ok! It's just that it is awfully warm today. Plus it rained on the way to school and the 151 I took was non-airconditoned, so we had to close all the windows. I'm getting deodorant.

Have to tell you this. It rained right, so I closed the window, and then the rain water started coming in from the top of the window or a hole or something above my seat! I was sitting at the window. At first it was a few small drops, then the drops of water got larger. I thought it was the window behind me so I turned to pull it close, but then I realized it was already closed. Water continued to drip happily onto me. Damn. So I packed my Japanese course packwhich I was reading into my bag and started to look around for another seat. I was really too embarrassed to stand up and change seats, but by then it was starting to rain over my seat.

Then surprise surprise! The guy sitting beside me stood up and moved to another seat so that I could take his seat instead. I am so thankful to him! Didn't dare to say thanks to him because he moved to a seat behind so if I turn around I would have to stare at a lot of faces. Now I regret! I should have just turned and thanked him! Anyway, I want to say a big thank you for doing what you did - the guy who was wearing 3/4 pants and white shirt.

You saved my shirt from getting wet and me from getting pissed off. When I get pissed off, I curse, and that would have been very embarrassing on the bus. So thanks again, you saved me from getting embarrassed!

He is so nice! May all the Gods bless him! Have a good life! Get good grades! Get good job! Earn big money! Just continue to be nice ok! If not I take back all the good things I say about you.

*imagining shaking the hand of my saviour vigorously*

Love,
Stephanie

posted by tstar @ 10:30 PM 2 comments

Physics; "Get Fuzzy"; hooking up tml

Hi. I know I'm not supposed to be posting but I can't help it! Plus I have am terribly frustrated after spending close to 2 hours on 1 set of physics lecture notes, especially on EPR Paradox. I'm going crazy I tell you! Argh!

Anyway saw this comic on Lifestyle section of Straits Times today and it reminded me of Siu Hang's entry on "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Hope I didn't break any copyright laws... haiz... the world is so complicated, have to think of this and think of that.

Darby Conley's "Get Fuzzy"









kaoz, very distorted.. Pray I don't get found out.. and sued..
A very in-depth and detailed scientific explanation by Bucky on why chickens cross the road.

I participated in this experiment as a research participant where they hook me up with all the cardiovascular instruments for a day and then I have to make half-hourly reports on my activities. I have to sleep with all the instruments as well, but the last time I did that there was no problem. I slept more soundly than ever, in fact, because I was so bloody tired from carrying that huge and heavy pouch around my waist for 24 hours. And I cannot bathe, so if you see me, please get far far away from me. Especially if I raise my arms. Haha... No lah, I got sponge myself lah, so hopefully I don't smell that bad. The thing is that they will attach an electrode (i think it's called that) behind my ear, and there's this strip around my neck so that I look as if I had hurt my neck. People kept staring at me. Plus that pouch! I have been trying to figure out how to wear that pouch. There are all these wires that connect the electrodes pasted onto my stomach to the devices in the pouch so that my shirt cannot pull down behind the pouch. Instead I have to fold it on top of the pouch and pretend that it is the latest fashion or something.

After a while I got used to it. Except when I had to go to the washroom. The last time I wore the pouch to the toilet (I cannot remove it because it contains all the instruments that are attached by wires to my body), the long long strap fell into the toilet bowl... Heez... I wonder who is using that pouch now. I washed it with soap anyway, so should be alright. Still, I pity that person.

I was really tempted to wear all of that, especially the electrode behind my ear, onto a train or a really crowded bus and see what are the people's reactions. The public is sure to think that I have hurt myself and I wonder if they will offer me a seat. It would be extremely amusing to see. =D Hmm, maybe I will do that tomorrow.

And I get paid up to $130 for doing all that for 3 days. It's my 2nd day tomorrow. Ah, if any of you see me like that, feel free to ask your friends to come up and ask me what happened to me.

I'll tell them that I got strangled. =D

posted by tstar @ 2:52 PM 1 comments

politics; brave new world; hiatus

Can somebody tell me what is this about? Did the papers say something about blogging and the government again? Where and what is this 'circular' that they are talking about on mr brown's blog? I'm out of contact with the world because I haven't been reading the papers lately.
I also spotted this link in the comments section on his blog: http://happycitizen.blogspot.com
A very political blog and very interesting.

Can I recommend a book to you all as well. It's my lit book, "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley. I absolutely love it. After I have read it I felt so isolated and lonely. It was really scary, the feeling. Partly because it is really kind of like our world and yet it is not. I was so completely absorbed into the story that I felt as if our world was like that described in the book, which explains my feelings of isolation and loneliness. I felt pity for the characters in the book, and yet kind of yearn to live there, even if only for their soma.

I plan to go on a hiatus because exams are coming soon and I have a lot to study for. Including my 5000 word term paper which is going really badly, and my Japanese group project. Anything can leave a comment on my tag board or message me or something. I hope I can resist the tempation of blogging.

Bye for now!

posted by tstar @ 10:43 PM 2 comments

An ode to procrastination

Mr Brown's blog has a link to this blog (reader-of-depressing-books. I think author's name is Tao Lin) who wrote something on what he does everytime he tries to work on his novel. It's called writing and the internet and my novel.

And it sounds suspiciously like what I do everytime I sit down to study or switch on my computer to search for materials or to write my essays and term papers.

I am doing it right now! I am supposed to be working on my Japanese project, but I have just checked my blog and other's blogs countless times and am now writing this entry.

I suspect it sounds like yours too.

posted by tstar @ 12:21 AM 1 comments

1st X-winds Performance; camera; sticks

22 October 2005
Performance at XMS school hall today at 7pm for the annual XMS alumni dinner. This year is special because it's Xinmin's 60th anniversary! Yay!

We saw Mr Lee Hak Boon, our previous principal; my uncle, who is a former student and who was sitting at the table 2 metres away from the band but who didn't notice me anyway; Mr Yeo, our ex-discipline master; Mr Tan, the D&T teacher; and the very first principal of Xinmin (I think) who flew all the way from China to be present at this dinner. No matter what people say, I am very proud of XMS ok!

Seriously though, the emcee was . . . to put it nicely, very good at talking.

So we played the school song, I will Follow Him, Memory, Rong Shu Xia. I can't do an analysis because I told you that my hearing has deteoriated to such an extent that I cannot hear the difference between the wind chimes played using the mallet or using the hand, as we tested it out today. I swear I regret letting myself let my hearing ability be reduced to such a level. It is an insult to myself and my previous conductor. Although I suspect it is also partly because of that period of time where my ear itched horribly and I kept digging it. I read somewhere that the hair in the inside of the ear aids in the sensitivity of one's hearing. I think I practically removed all the hair on the inside of the ear (I think it's called "canal") when I was digging it. Ok, sounds gross. Aiya, not you, you don't understand how I feel lah, I damn fed up with myself, I tell you. Sometimes I just want to give up and don't play anymore because my hearing is so bad, but I can't bear to. Especially when I go for alumni then I see my fellow percussionists. And all those other damn good percussionists, and all those aspiring budding ones.

Anyway, according to Kah Siang and Daniel, we played horribly. There were 18 of us, by the way. Because of the positioning of the band, the french horns had their bells facing the wall and the sound just reflected.. and reflected.. and reflected.. (exaggeration here, but you get my point), while the rest of the band was really soft comparatively because there were no walls to reflect the sound. Sounded really unbalanced from the back of the hall, or rather, diagonally across the hall, because we were seated at one corner, all 18 of us, so that we were facing diagonally across the rectangular hall. The winds cannot hear clearly, not even me at the back of the band can hear (but then I am always concentrating somewhere else). I don't know if can hear the drumset and glock across the hall, but I have a feeling the accessories must be really soft. Poor LY.

FYI, there were like 30+ tables, each table got about 10 people, so there were more than 300 people there tonight.

Oh, Yizhen played drumset for I Will Follow Him and Rong Shu Xia, I played basically snare and bass for Memory and school song, Pearlin was stuck at mallets and LY was stuck at auxillary (I shall use this word instead of accessories). Poor them. They added in Rong Shu Xia like last minute, on Friday, when I had diarrhoea and couldn't go. So I sight-readed it today, practiced it perhaps 3 times, and then it was performance time. How nice. At least it sounds much better than the other song we were playing. God, it had those songs "shi shang zhi you ma ma hao" and "da dian hua" in it ok! If we were playing that tonight, I think I will wear a paper bag over my head or decide to learn the ways of the ostrich.

I am so proud of Yizhen! Because she can play drumset! Next time no guys, we will bully her into playing! Yay! Poor Yz now! Haha... No lah, we won't be evil. But I cannot don't be evil, because I know if all the guys are not there, then Yizhen is not there, then all my beloved percussionist friends will collaborate and push everything to me lorz! You think I don't know you all ah? Ok, next time LY play! I will have diarrhoea for 2 hours if it ever happens! Haha.. just kidding! I so nice, where will diarrhoea for 2 hours? 1 hour max only. I will just turn up late for band... =D

Anyway we got a "hongbao" from the alumni, very happy! Our first band fund! Don't know if I can disclose the amount here or not, so better not, but we went out for dinner after that instead of staying at school for the dinner they supposedly provided for us because there were not enough seats!

Feel so cheated.

So anyway, we ate at ah, Pow Sing Restaurant, I think. Ate chicken rice lah! The rice was nice! But I was so damn full because I had a cheese waffle before that. Why? Because I have gastric problems and clever me forgot to bring my gastric pills. So for fear of getting gastric pains before or after performances, as I usually do, I opted to eat a waffle before the performance. Didn't finish it at that time, so ended up eating it after the performance. Then I had to finish the dinner for that night. Wah, so full! But nice! So I was bored, and started taking a few pictures. Only a few. Regret never take the picture of the table full of food.

That is Kah Siang in the foreground and Daniel in the background.

Both of them talking about serious stuff, I think, can't remember what it was le. Something about the money, or is it about the menu?!

A rather spectaular view of the table before the "ah char" was finished by yee sin and the forks and spoons were used. But it is a bit too bright, I apologize. I don't have very good phototaking skills and I set the EV too high.

This is Shuping, holding the menu in her hands. I took this picture when she was totally unaware and only knew when I showed her the picture. I really like this picture, because it is bright enough (for me) and she is the focus of the picture, which was my intent. When you look at the picture, you will notice her expression and all that. So proud of myself! haha... Oops, I realized there is this man at the back staring at the camera. Or perhaps he was staring at our all-black ensemble.

By the way, quite a number of people were staring at us because all 18 of us were dressed in black. The waitress asked why we were wearing that and one of the diner asked us before she left why we were dressed like that. =D I thought it was really amusing. But it was nice to be thought of as special, you get what I mean. And Shuping said that next time another person ask, we should say that we are from the Black Society, a direct translation from 'hei she hui', a chinese term for the underground society or gangsters, which was really clever.

This is when they caught me snapping photos of them. Eh, I don't know the name of the girl beside Shuping! Those who see this and know her name tell me can! She damn funny! I call the two of them, she look around to see who it is I was calling, that's why she was facing somewhere else when I took this. And SP purposely block her face one lah!

I wanted to take a photo of Pearl and LY and Yizhen, but they don't let me take! They took a stupid photo of me instead which I refuse to put up here because it looks so stupid! Instead, I put this in place of the photo of me:

The glass of lime juice I drank.



This is after majority of us have finished dinner, and Daniel and Kah Siang decided to pose. Daniel is feeding Kah Siang!


Group photo! Asked the waitress to take a photo for us. The 2nd one is super blur. This time not only my camera's fault! The auntie's hands were shaky! I refuse to believe this could be the work of my camera! My camera is Shiro's. It sucks. Don't buy it. It is super cheap (relatively speaking), around $200 range. The top photo is so much better, can see clearer, except that Daniel is not in it. That's why the waitress say take another photo! So in the 2nd photo the person on the extreme left is Daniel. Never mind lah, got his photo at the top already, so... heh... Sorry ah, Daniel! So suay, the only person who brought a camera was me and I own a lousy camera.
Ok, don't degrade my camera too much in case it gets insulted and decides to go on a strike. It still has some good features. It is only at night when the lighting isn't good, and your hand cannot shake... yar, well...

Anyway, it can do this :

Normal


Sepia effect

And I thought I would just post this:

2 birthday gifts, 1 farewell gift. Birthday gifts : 1 from my AJ percussionists, 1 from Pearl and YZ. Farewell gift : AJ percussionists 2005/2006.

This is the full picture of it. Not artistic, I know. Who cares! SD1 sticks and multi-purpose percussion sticks (I think it's called that, something to that extent).

posted by tstar @ 12:55 AM 0 comments

failed blood donation; pissed off

I went to school earlier than usual for blood donation. Ended up I am not eligible to donate because I weigh a freaking 43kg. I didn't know that I have to be at least 45kg to donate. Disappointed and already slightly pissed with myself for losing so much weight. I wanted to slap everybody who had that band around their arm after blood donation. (Ok, that is an exaggeration.) I had to walk out of the room right in front of everyone, after I have filled in the form, went to register and finally approached the doctor, who told me I cannot donate because I WEIGH 43KG. Embarrassing. Oh my goodness, where did all my weight go to?? I must start gaining mass. Time to eat and exercise more.

To think I was so nervous. And I even brought my camera to take photos of the needle and it in my arm to gross you guys out.

Anyway I am pissed off for the 2nd time today with my junior. I am so pissed off and so disappointed that my face has a slight flush. And now at 10.12pm, I am again pissed off. For the 3rd time.

My junior, Jiaxing, (I prefer to think of him as a friend since we knew each other for 5 years + already) is a convert from a Buddhist to a Christian. He just converted recently and I respect his religion (apart from the fact that I sometimes run away from christians who try to convert me. I am happy in buddhism so stop trying to get me over.) We have alumni band every friday evening and he has just started his cell group, also on friday evening. I think I have something against christianity, because at this point I was feeling ever so slightly irritated and disappointed.

Let me clarify. Initially I didn't have anything against Christianity, until there seem to be more and more people trying to push christianity. It seems as if christians wanted to force others into their religion, always encouraging people to go for certain church activities. I don't understand why, really. It kind of freaked me out because they used to stop you along the roads and then start explaining about Jesus and the bridge between us and Him or something like that. To me, it became commercialisation. The selling of a religion, and I didn't like that. I didn't want to be like that. I like Buddhism because it doesn't seek to convert others. If others are happy where they are, then ok. There are many other reasons anyway. I read up on it liked what it taught. In the past, I used to fear Christianity because I didn't want to convert. Or rather, it was because I was afraid I WOULD convert. My faith in Buddhism wasn't that strong yet and my knowledge about Buddhism was little. Comparatively, I knew more about Christianity than Buddhism. But recently, I have been reading buddhism up for a bit and I like what it says. I am not saying that Christianity is no good, it is just that I feel comfortable where I am, so please don't try to convert me. Thank you.

What am I doing?! I am going out of point.

Ok, the main point is that, I am pissed off. Yes. The last time I asked him, he said that he will confirm and then tell me, so yesterday I SMSed him to ask him again if he would be able to make it. Remember that he has cell group on friday, which is the same day and time as our practices. He replied today that he would confirm and then later on SMSed to say that he would play if there is really an urgent for him to do so. I didn't reply him because I was irritated. Do I really have to repeat myself? (Shit, now I can't remember how many times I told him we need players and the parts that are available. I give him the benefit of the doubt and decide that it is partly my fault. Ok, that calms me down a bit.) Anyway the reason I was irritated was because he chose to go for cell group instead of playing with us for one friday night and then on saturday. Damn, is it so serious to skip one cell group? Christians, please enlighten me on this.

Later on at night he asked if it is really urgent for him to play. I told him what parts were available and all that stuff and, if my memory does not fail me, I also told him that I would prefer the snare and bass to be played separately and LY needs help with the accessories. The order of messages are probably wrong, but the content is there. He then asked for the times because he "needs to make arrangements". I gave it to him and he later asked if the drumset part is taken, to which I replied that yes, Yizhen is playing it unless he wants it and she would happily give it up to him.
He replied, "I don't want to snatch parts. Haha. If she can cope well then don't need me le ba. Right?"
Do I have to REPEAT myself? We have other parts that we need people in...
Utterly pissed off at this point, I messaged back, "wah lao, doesn't mean we dun need ppl for accessories and play snare and bass wif me right? we need a timp player too..." Something to that extent.
To which he replied, "but i cannot play timp and it is a bit unworth to give up my cell grp for an accessory part. haha." I wanted to slap him at this point. Selective reading ah? Snare and Bass ok? I need help ok?
I was so angry that I replied, "okok, got the point... nvm, u go for cell grp.. please, nxt time if u dun wan then juz tell me straight, dun b hesitant ok? enjoy urself! c u soon"
Gosh, now that I read it, I sound so cheery. No wonder he didn't sense that I was angry.

Besides being angry, I felt disappointed. Angry at him for going one big round before telling me indirectly that he really don't want to play, and angry at myself for getting angry at this.
Pearlin kept telling me not to be angry, Yizhen used the emoticon to pat my head and told me to cool down while LY was equally pissed when she got through the whole thing.

Disappointed that he would not be playing with us and that he put his cell group before us. (Aren't I big-headed?) I am also disappointed that he thinks, I quote LY, "like percussion only improtant thing is drumset".
So my face is flushed and I think I might be catching the flu bug again, which means fever.

I will most probably still be pissed tomorrow and on saturday itself. I will probably still be pissed, the next time I see him. Friends, don't talk to me about that matter or try to tell me to cool down. I will cool down, I usually do, after I have thought it out. After he speaks to me and I have screamed at him, that is. Exaggeration there. We'll see how it turns out.

The next time I felt pissed off, is when I asked Kwan Hwee online if he would like to play on saturday because we were short of people and all that stuff. He didn't reply at all, despite having talked to me for a bit before that.

Gosh, what is happening to the guys? Cat got your tongue?

Anyway, let's do our best on Saturday, yar? Every performance counts.

(Note: Views on Christianity and Buddhism are solely mine and does not represent the whole community of Buddhists. Any offensive remarks, if any, are not written to anger others. They merely reflect my impression. I do not have anything against Christianity, ok? Please read my above paragraph carefully.)

posted by tstar @ 9:58 PM 2 comments

Today; Blood donation; Alvin to Australia

This will be a boring, mundane post about today.
Reached school at 9.35am today. On the way to school on 151, we were bored and so took these photos of our phones. They are of the same model, but mine is black and hers is white.

Plus we both had black and white bags. Such a coincidence. We thought it would be interesting to do this combination. By the way, the black bag is mine, the white is LY's. And that is the 2nd hand HP my father got for me. If anybody try to steal mine again I'm gonna slap him. The bus kept on jerking while we were trying to take photos. We must have looked like a couple of goondus.

Anyway reached school and then took internal shuttle to Science for Physics. After lecture we walked back to arts. The bus at that time is forever full, we have given up hope on taking the bus back.
So on the way back, I went crazy and started taking photos. I ended up with 2 photos only.

posted by tstar @ 8:19 PM 2 comments

Xiaxue ; physics notes

You all should go read Xiaxue's 2nd latest post (her stand on using toilets meant for the handicapped) and listen to her first podcast. The latter is partly a result of the former. Nicely explained and I thought she defended herself quite well. She has a fabulous voice as well!

And to satisfy my desire to take and post photos, I shall show my handwriting and on my physics lecture notes on . . . . . .





Technologies and Exotica!















This is one of the very blur photo taken of my super messy lecture notes.
This is just 1 of the 6 slides on 1 page of my notes. It also happens to be one of the messiest. =D

I'm not lying.






OH MY GOD! It is so blur... Should have adjusted the settings before I took this picture, but you all can see my handwriting lah, right. I have got boyish handwriting, which I'm actually proud of. This shows that I am unique and not like one of the other girls whose handwritings might be so similar we can't differentiate which is whose sometimes.
The bad thing is that people cannot really read it, and it's really messy.
But it is ME!


I love my handwriting!

posted by tstar @ 8:03 PM 0 comments

CNM; spam

One of my CNM group members, Shen Chin asks why his name is not on my blog when my other group members have theirs here. =D I make him sound so evil. Haha! Ok, actually he just joked about it and then I asked him to send the CNM project final final copy to my gmail account so that I could do this.

So here it is:















That is Shen Chin's name! Oops, shouldn't have shown his email address there. Don't spam him ok? That's an email regarding a perfectly legitimate CNM project, not a fluke that I asked him to send ok! If he is reading this, "HI, SHEN CHIN! YOUR NAME IS ON MY BLOG! LEAVE A TAG!"
Oops, Huimin and Belinda's names are on my blog for the 2nd time. How unfair. Sorry!

And there's a suspicious name under Shen Chin's...





YES! It is Chow Siu Hang! I stared at it for a while... and oops again, I shouldn't show the email address there. Don't spam him ok? (Maybe you all should. No lah, I'm a nice person, don't spam him.) Which brings me to the next point: Why did he send an email to me?












Note the "spank spank".









The reason becomes clear : to show me what is spam (or is it "spank"? gross!), and undoubtedly, to irritate me.

SH, hope you don't mind me posting this here. Nobody will spam your email, I'm sure. Nobody is free enough to do that... except maybe you. Haha... no offense meant! And I refuse to send a "spam" email back.

posted by tstar @ 12:46 AM 1 comments

CNM project; Gmail; Butterfly

I have been fully immersed in my CNM project for the past few days. Was utterly pissed off at all the stuff we had to do, especially last night (that is, 15 october 2005, Saturday) when we found some updated graphs and I had no idea how to interpret it. I can't even copy and paste those 2 god-damn-it graphs onto the word document. Why? Because I have a Microsoft Office version 2000. And I apologize for the lousy quality photos. I don't know how to do that "copy-whole-screen-and-paste" thing and my photo-taking techniques aren't world class.

Now (which is like yesterday, i.e 16 october 2005, Sunday) when I'm trying to use gmail to send some notes to my email account so that I can print it in school, it is happily ignoring me. Twice in a row. Couldn't get it to send properly the 1st time, so I closed the window and tried again, this time tried to save, but it didn't work either.





Here's the email, pretty blank. What for write so much when you are going to send it to yourself?! And yes, that is my gmail address if you can see it, which I'm sure you can. It's pretty clear. Please, no spam.





That's the attachment you see. Yes, it is a Japanese Studies lecture's notes. For your info, it is approximately 13MB in size. It says "eddy" there in the middle of the screen because that is the misspelled version of my father's name. This computer has its software registered under his name. Or whatever is the technical term that you geeks out there use. I'm pissed off, remember? When I'm pissed off, I blame everything except myself. And make everybody else feel horrible. That's why the word geek is up there.





This is the second time. I clicked "Save Now", and then...










It is sending request.... (Yes, the "100 send invites left" is very obvious, so if any of you want gmail, can just tell me, I'll send you an invite, gladly)









it is still sending... (anybody wants gmail?) ... ...















AND IT IS STILL SENDING... ....!!! I think there is something wrong with my computer... Or something wrong with me. Gmail/Google don't like me.

Please ask me for invites if you want them...

Anyway, I got so fed-up with it I asked Liu Yin to send it to me instead:



There's LY's name! Thanks, LY! And you can see all the others below are all "Project!!!" and "FW: project doc...". Those are all my CNM project material. Both "min" and "Ivo Belinda" are my groupmates. So if any of you are reading this: "HI! YOUR NAMES ARE ON MY BLOG!"
And no, the other names after Belinda's are not my groupmates. One is a psychology researcher and another is, well... from CokeAmp3.

And after uploading the pictures and trying to use a host for my pictures, I got utterly fed up. It is like what, 12.53am now?! This is ridiculous. I still have to go to school tomorrow for project. One last thing.

There is this butterfly outside my house door, resting on my plant. Yesterday, we thought that it was juz taking a short rest. Later on, we thought it was dead. Now, my father says it is going to die and what it does is it finds a place to do so, and just sits there waiting for death. Something to that extent. If that is true, the butterfly chose to go to butterfly heaven right in front of our door, on our money plant. Don't know if it is called money plant, but anyway, here's a picture of it :



It IS a butterfly right?! Not a moth horz?




It's the best I could do. My camera isn't very good, so it's very difficult to take good photos. I had to take this some distance away with full zoom and flash to avoid the picture turning out like this :





Horribly bright. If you noticed, in the above photograph, the butterfly had its right wing torn.

Poor butterfly, I'm so sorry. Resting or dying already with a torn wing and so many bright flashes at you.



And it must be my retribution because after that I stepped on an ant-like insect in my living room and it stung me. IN MY LIVING ROOM! AND I WAS JUST STANDING THERE INNOCENTLY, WATCHING TV!

Yay, finish blogging le! Satisfied with this post! It is 1.17am. I have taken exactly 1 hour and 10 min. I have to get up at 6.30am tomorrow. Bye! I hope you can see the photos. If not tell me ok. I'm addicted to posting photos on blog now... when I can find the photos.

Bed!

posted by tstar @ 12:07 AM 3 comments

Tsunami - Singapore?

The Straits Times' Saturday Special (15th Oct 2005) is on "Our Angry Earth?"

And I thought I was the only one who thought that the Earth is taking its revenge on us for the damage that we have done to it. Anyway, there is an article on page S5 of the Saturday Special section, titled "S'pore not safe from tsunami". In case some of you don't have the access to the papers or for some other reason unable to read it, here is an excerpt:

Thailand's now iconic meteorologist, Dr Smith Dharmasaroja, who in 1998 predicted a killer tsunami would hit Thailand one day and was ignored, told The Straits Times that Singapore and Malaysia are also in danger from a future earthquake and tsunami.

"I believe the epicentre of future quakes will shift northwards, north of the Andaman and Nicobar islands. A big earthquake with a more northerly epicentre than the Dec 26 quake will generate a tsunami which will have a more direct route down to the Strait of Malacca, swamping Singapore and Malaysia.

As the sea passage narrows, more water will build up and the wave will become bigger. Singapore is relatively low-lying and quite flat, and would be badly affected. Remember, in December, the tsunami was 30m high at Banda Aceh. At Khao Lak, it was 16m high," he said

.

.

.

The researcher working on the hypothesis, who did not want to be named, told The Straits Times the research was ongoing and final results were not yet ready.

But Dr Smith said: "I have seen the simulations
that indicate this and they look believable. From my own experience, it is possible.

Only a few days ago, there was a 6.1 quake in the Andaman sea near the Nicobar islands, which is about 200 miles north of the Dec 26 quake. So this is an indication that the epicentre is moving north."

If he says so, I will believe. Better to be safe than sorry. The only problem is that nowhere is it stated an approximation to when it might occur. Since it took 6 years for the prediction to come true, it might be the same this time round, right?

So everybody, please go and get a first-aid kit and learn some life-saving skills. Absurd as this might sound, don't assume that this will not happen because life is unpredictable.

posted by tstar @ 3:49 PM 3 comments

Story

She was wearing a black, loose razor-back top with a pair of jeans. Fair skin, not in excellent condition, but fair enough. Her shoulder-length, layered black hair a bit dull but in good contrast with the chinese asian features she possess. Slim, obviously toned. Her voice is soft and sweet but persuasive as well. It reminds one of a slight breeze which is always welcomed in any weather. She has an air of confidence about her so that one gives way to her when she walks, and that places her on a pedestal above the others. The soft black material of her top loosely defined the shape of her breasts, her nipples taut against the cloth. Her breasts are not large, but in proportion to her body.

He wanted to touch them. He wondered what it would feel like. He wondered what they would look like. He wanted to kiss her and her breasts. He wondered if she would let him. He wondered if he put himself in her, would she moan like his mother did sometimes when his father put himself in her.

He is dark-skinned and she is yellow-skinned.
He wants and he wonders.

posted by tstar @ 12:47 PM 3 comments

Bombings; soft cities

The following was supposed to be posted on Oct 5th 2005. No idea why I did not do it. Probably due to some inconsistencies or wrong information. Anyway here it is :

Bombings again in Bali on 1st October, Children's Day. Haiz.

And I thought Children's Day is supposed to be "innocent and white", not a day for showing of hatred and splattering red around. It disgusts me, what these terrorists are doing to innocent people.

This time round, the bombings aren't as serious and the Balinese quickly picked themselves up. Don't know how they cope with this kind of things. Pei fu them.

-----------
Had a CNM lecture yesterday (4th october, tuesday, 2005) on soft cities. Most interesting. Before visual gaming, there was a textual, virtual world where you typed commands to go around. Try going to this blog and then at the sidebar click on " lambda.moo.mud.org port 8888". This is one of the virtual worlds, I believe. Press enter when you get in to see an introduction.
Then there is the usenet, which is an old form of groups and bulletin boards around the late 1970s (about 1979) and which died out after that. Google revived it and retrieved these messages. Messages that were posted in the past can still be found now, so must be careful what we post. The lecturer said he found something that he had posted during his undergrad years in about 1995 still up there. Probably everything we post in forums are recorded and stored somwhere on some shelf in some tape or something. I really like that usenet thing, although it is slightly different from the past. It looks so interesting .

posted by tstar @ 12:45 PM 1 comments

Lit. lecture - boring

God, I am so bored that I am actually blogging during LITERATURE LECTURE! That's a first.

Talking about Toni Morrisn's "The Bluest Eye" and the primer thing now.

Ahh, no mood to blog either...

posted by tstar @ 5:18 PM 3 comments

Sick

I'm sick. Sick physically, sick mentally.

Gosh, why am I always having crushes on every other guy, everywhere? It is always the people I know I cannot get or have not gotten yet. Once we establish some kind of relationship, no matter what, it is like I have attained my goal and I abandon him and that relationship (even if it is friendship).

I tell you, I am sick in the mind.

Not to mention that I have a sore throat coming up. That day I had a fever for one night only, now I am developing a sore throat.

I tell you, I am sick physically.

posted by tstar @ 8:59 PM 6 comments

KK Hospital - Children's emergency

My sister has been running a fever for 10 days that would not subside despite having seen the doctor. Yesterday my mum brought her to the clinic again and the doctor there told her there might be infection in her lungs and wrote a referral letter to be brought to KK Women and Children Hospital.

The scene at the children's emergency department was depressing. Kids were mainly coughing or running a fever. One came in and made a retching noise then promptly retreated into the toilet. Another was squirming on the floor and refused to be brought to a room. He was behaving more like a child at a departmental store who was refused a toy than one who is sick. The parents were getting agitated and embarrassed and were trying desperately to get him to stand up and walk. Later on I saw the parents sitting separately on a row of chairs in the "room-behind-the-red-doors", as I shall call it. Another case of spoiled brat and strained relationship. After we had seen the nurse, we proceeded to the registration and payment counter during which I witnessed a plump eleven-year-old girl who was sitting down at the nurse's table with one hand on her chest struggle to breathe. Nurse put a plastic bag over her nose and mouth and instructed her to breathe slowly and relax. Her breathing slowly eased and later on returned to normal, at least externally. Nurse said she is just too nervous. Something like panic attack. A couple came in craddling their 16-day-old red-faced baby. For what reason, I don't know.

We proceeded to the waiting area next. 5 pages or so of Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eye" (read and re-read) later, somebody called my sister's name over the PA system. We approached the red door and entered the room-behind-the-red-doors. It was there I saw the parents of that brat sitting on two ends of the row of chairs. The father was on the phone, the mother leaning against the arm of the chair which was closer to her child, who was lying on one of the beds in the room. My sister took a blood test, prior to which she was very nervous, and was told to wait 45 min or so for the results.We proceeded back to the waiting area where I watched a mother wheel her child on a pram around the place. A mere 10 or 15 min later our queue number was shown on one of the doctor's door. Surprised, we went in. Doctor checked her lungs, her stomach, and then instructed her to do a chest X-ray. We did just that and then returned to the waiting area again. A girl, maybe about 3 or 4 years old came over to where we were sitting, twice. The first time her mother came over and carried her and then pulled a phamplet from the rack on the wall beside us before returning to her seat. The second time, the kid came over and climbed onto the chair beside me and then attempted to climb onto my chair. She was fair and cute and I desperately wanted to pinch her. Sadly, her mother came over and carried her off. There were too many people around anyway.

We received the X-ray about 7 minutes later, and then gave it to the doctor as we were told to. A longer period later, during which I watched "Lost" and read another 10 pages or so of my book, my sister's name was again announced over the PA system and we approached the same doctor's door.

Turns out my sister has Pneumonia. Slight infection of the lungs, incessant coughing and fever, restlessness (trust my mum to figure that out), were all symptoms of pneumonia as we later read from a phamplet. And so we returned home at about 11.30pm and I was too tired from all the observing to do anything except sleep.

posted by tstar @ 9:53 AM 3 comments

Chaperoning at Istana Park

Terrible!

I'm terribly behind on schoolwork!

Chaperoned some kids on Sunday (2nd october 2005) at Istana Park but was too tired after that to blog about it. I did it because LYP is venturing into music events organization and SPU is under LYP. I wanted to give it a shot as well. It was tiring work, getting everything to run smoothly, co-operating with Kim Peng and Yizhen. I had only one school to control. Poor Yizhen has 2 schools to control. Although my school was bigger in size, it is not as easy to take care of 2 separate schools as 1. Poor girl, she was freaking out way before the performance actually started. Kim Peng (Miss Ng, because she is a teacher), did a very good job on co-ordinating everything during rehearsals. I think she is a natural teacher and leader.

It was actually quite ok for me, although there were some hiccups. Damien got really unhappy at some point during the performance on stage and it upsetted the girls of one particular school. Anyway the performance was a combination of the ang-klung groups and handbells, both by primary school kids, which I thought was pretty cool.

And a lot of them have handphones! I consider primary 4 a really young to own one. However, seeing as how the times are changing (it always is), I am not really surprised. While waiting with the kids and their teachers for their bus to come, they started playing and talking and then I learned that this young boy already has a girlfriend (oops, typed wrongly, put "boyfriend" instead of "girl". Thanks Yizhen and Siu Hang for pointing it out to me!) at primary 4 (or 5)! His friends told me that he had already kissed her as well. I feel so depressed! Nobody wants me! I lose to a PRIMARY SCHOOL BOY! WAAAAaaaa!

HMPH! *wipes tears* Who cares! I have my blog!

There was this boy with really dark skin, black actually, and he was kind of alone among all the chinese. He is not Indian, doesn't look like it. He looks exactly like an African American. Despite Singapore being a multi-racial country (supposedly), I still feel curious about them. And yes, he is a Singaporean. Got me thinking about multiracial issues and brought to mind an article published some time ago on how people tend to hang out more with those of their own race.

posted by tstar @ 11:23 PM 3 comments

Scholarship Presentation

I went for the scholarship presentation ceremony held by mercantile co-operative society today. My father's a member because he works at SIA - CIAS. So we applied for the scholarship and to my immense surprise, actually got it. Only 8 univeristy scholarships were to be given out so I was very pleased. Got money what! School fees very expensive ok! I ended up being 1 of the 2 girls in the 8 people. It was at Furama ballroom at Eu Tong Sen street, chinatown area.

The guest-of-honour is this guy who comes down to this presentation every year from whichever part of the world he is at. He is very smart ok! If my memory does not fail me, he holds the title of Prof. Dr. Maurice Teo, PhD, DSc. Think there is something else behind, but I can't remember. FIIM is not a title, right? It is a company's name I think. He is that guy who first managed to artificially breed tiger prawns.

And he gave this very inspiring talk on how we should all thank our parents for giving us opportunities to study and asked us to stand up and shout "thank you!" to the whole bunch of parents sitting there. It wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact that I was facing exactly the opposite direction where my parents were sitting, and that I was rather at the front. Being the true Asian that I am, I am very shy about showing appreciation and affection.

There was this part of his speech that I especially hate. He said Asians are always shy about showing affection. When westerners hug, they clasp fully together. When asians hug, it seems as if we are dancing.

Because there is a space between us.

I don't think that it is right to compare us this way. We are from different cultural backgrounds and we behave differently. We show our affection in different ways too. Perhaps not as direct, but still we will show.

Anyway it was a very prep-talk kind of talk. He was starting to talk about how youngsters now can only follow instructions and cannot make decisions. How some university graduates are only capable of writing thick reports because they are used to writing thesis, but are unable to make decisions. That I agree. He also talked about needing to respect cleaners, waiters/waitresses etc., those in jobs that we would normally look down upon. I was thinking, such a coincidence that his speech came when we were focusing on customer services in singapore. And yet I thought that he must have been away from Singapore long enough so that he does not understand how some of us are looking at these people. Perhaps some of the population would look upon them as useless, but I believe that a fair proportion of us do not do so. My friends and I don't, for one thing. I am fully aware that without these people, our society would be unable to function at the most basic levels. Anyway I was starting to think that he was drifting away and was going to give us a lecture on "Society And Its Youths".

Finally the presentation started, with about 120 PSLE students, don't-know-how-many 'O' and 'A' level students, and us 8 uni students. By the way, I think all 8 of us are from NUS (my assumption), and I am the only Arts student there. And the 2 guys at my sides started talking to each other and soon realized that they each know this guy whom they were BOTH going to his birthday party later. I commented what a small world it is.

Later on went to school for CNM project meeting. We started awfully late. But had quite a bit of fun and did part of the introduction. We still have a lot to do.

So I have blogged for 1 hour and 45 min and it is time to go back to the books. Tomorrow doing chaperoning with Yizhen. Yay! I love kids! (I am trying to convince myself)

posted by tstar @ 10:22 PM 2 comments

Birthday

You might want to read Yizhen's blog first for a brief idea of what we did yesterday before you launch into this "longggg-wwwwinded" (as quoted from Yizhen) entry. =) Btw, she has a more accurate account of what we did. I have some loops in mine and it doesn't feel right to change what I have already put down.

Yesterday (30-9-2005) was my birthday, as you all might have known. Pearlin, Yizhen and I went down to Parklane Shopping Mall to buy some stuff from M.A.S.T music. Unfortunately, they were packing up when we went there. If we had gone down a day earlier, they would have been still open. That is so sad.

We ended up at Swee Lee which was at Bras Basah Complex and spent a long, long time there trying to decide between a pair of SD1 and SD2 sticks and, for me, whether or not to get the 8" drum pad. I think we took so long at that section the salesperson came up to us and asked if we needed help. We ended up getting a drum pad each and a pair of SD1 sticks each for Yizhen and me. I personally think that the drum pad was bigger than necessary. There is a smaller one, but we had no idea where to buy it from and Swee Lee did not sell it. The really weird thing is that the prices we paid for does not correspond to the price tags on the items. The sticks were supposed to cost about $16.50 each, but we paid only $13.20 approximately each. Each drum pad was supposed to cost $30 each but we paid only $24 each. Later on Pearl and Yizhen calculated the price difference and found it to be 20%. It was also brought up that NAFA students have a 20% discount when buying items from there. Hmm, I wonder if we look like NAFA students, or if there was an unannounced 20% discount. Maybe he just liked the look of us and decided to give us 3 pretty girls a 20% discount. =D

Anyway we left Swee Lee with our items and as we walked out of the door, Pearl and Yizhen started whispering suspiciously. Then once we were out of the door, Pearlin told me that my pair of sticks and drum pad are to be my birthday present from them. I KNEW IT! I started grinning because of this and told them that I could not accept it. C'mon lah! My whole set cost about $37.20 and with only the 2 of them sharing, it is awfully expensive! And we are all students, where got enough money! But I was so touched and so happy. =D So with my insisting, they shared the cost for the sticks instead of the whole set. Yay! Thanks guys!
Next we went to macs, started eating and for no apparent reason started talking about the channel 8's 9pm show : X dang(4) an(4) II. Haha . . . We boarded the train at Bugis, went up the wrong escalator at Raffles place MRT, got to our platform, boarded the train, took it to dhoby ghaut and switched to the NEL towards Hougang. Then we started talking about Physics on the train, specifically Physics of Fluid, followed by econs.

So we happily got off at Hougang, I walked to my grandmother's place and I went with my father to Water-rise to get one of the pancake meals which I wanted. My father bought a cake on the way. We went home and when I entered my room saw this lump at my table in the dark. I opened it and surprise, surprise! It was the nokia 7260 which I had lost a month back or so! Apparently my father had traded in his phone for this phone. So he now uses my mom's phone, which I was using before this nokia 7260 came along. It is a 2nd-hand phone and not in excellent condition - the keypad was slightly faulty, but I was very happy, surprised and touched.

Yay! I got a nokia 7260 again! So I made up my mind to get a part-time job to repay my parents.

And my sis came into my room holding an armful of tidbits and said it is her gift for me. She is so cute sometimes. So I hugged her and she said happy birthday. I cut my cake and everything, and within the hour, felt extremely cold and feverish. I was starting to think that it was dengue because I had just been bitten by a mosquito on thursday at NUS and was freaking out. But since I'm pretty fine now, I hope it is nothing much. I forced myself to take a bath, during which I was shivering, put on my jacket, drank 2 cups of water and then because I felt too ill to do anything else, went to sleep. I prepared a cup of water by my bed so that I could "cool" myself down by drinking it. The cup was refilled twice within the hour and 2 hours after I had fallen asleep, I woke up and realised I needed to piss. So every 2 hours I woke up and pissed, refilled my cup and went back to sleep again. How crude! Haha . . . So unlucky! Fever on the night of my birthday! On the other hand, luckily it happened at night and not in the morning. If not, I would have spent the entire day in bed. By this morning, my fever was gone and I went for the scholarship presentation thingy.

Wah, it has been a long time since I wrote something like a description of a day of my mundane life. But since it is a special day, I have decided to record it down. Coz of my fever I didn't blog yesterday, so did it today. Today is another long, long day, but nice. You will fall asleep, so I won't blog about that now. I'll put it in another entry. Haha . . . Thanks to all who wished me happy birthday!

posted by tstar @ 9:19 PM 0 comments